One of Pauline's favourite pictures from Sunday School is that of Jesus with children from around the world. They are clinging to him or sitting on his lap. It's a picture of security and happiness which many children never fully comprehend. In their homes they experience violence or neglect – they only contact with parents may be in the form of a slap or a verbal assault. For some children your club or children's group may be a real haven. Could this be one of the few environments where a child experiences love and acceptance?

What about the question of physical contact with children? Often this is an issue nobody dares to touch. In some schools workers are instructed not to have physical contact with children. Many of us can remember walking round the playground holding the dinner lady's hand or teacher's hand. It felt good, it felt safe. Now, though, adults fear that allegations of assault may follow if they touch children, teachers are even being advised not to apply sun cream to pupils!

Who is right? Is it unwise to hug a child? Was Jesus doing the right thing in lifting children into his arms and blessing them? Should Diana have been rebuked for holding the hand of someone with AIDS or for hugging a child?

Children need physical contact – without such positive touching they die inside, emotionally. Those of us working with young children in particular will know that physical contact is unavoidable, whether it's a quick hug after falling over or a restraining arm to keep them from danger or drawing them into an activity. In our Facing the Unthinkable seminar we place an emphasis on safe physical contact with children. We should follow the example of Jesus but we need to be wise. Touch only becomes dangerous when it lacks respect for the child, is about the adult's needs rather than those of the young person, or is violent and abusive. In our seminars and our Guidance to Churches Manual we give guidelines on touch.

As we write, we are in the middle of camp season. Inevitably, we have received calls from leaders seeking help following disclosures of abuse (because camp is often a safe place to talk about these things) and for help in establishing safe practice at camp. Several have even asked about whether it is acceptable any longer to take photographs of activities. How sad that this question should even have to be asked. Unfortunately, photographing children has been used for very devious purposes at times and one has to be very careful. So what do we advise? There are, of course, no absolute right answers in any situation like this. Firstly, we would assume that you have checked out your workers very carefully and they have been recruited in accordance with Safe from Harm principles. We suggest that you could make it known in your information about camp that a worker will be taking photographs/shooting a video during the week. You can also add that photographs will later be available for sale and/or there will be an opportunity for parents of young people to come along and see the completed video. There should be a clear arrangement between the organisation and the individual taking photographs. For historical records (and in case questions should ever be asked later) it could be important for the organisation to retain copies of all the material.

Some reading this article may well think that things have gone overboard. If you sat where we sit and hear from churches and organisations day by day telling us about what does happen to children and young people in their own families and sometimes in groups to which they belong and where they ought to have been safe, you will see the need for vigilance and to work as safely as possible. However, we must not lose that spontaneity in our work. When you think of the story in the Bible of the Prodigal Son, there is a picture of the father running, embracing and kissing his lost son who has returned. Would the son have felt so welcomed, so forgiven, if he had been greeted with a mere handshake?

Taking Care of Touching

Guidelines on touch for those who work with children:

• Keep everything public. A hug in the context of a group is very different from a hug behind closed doors
• Touch should be related to the child's needs, not the worker's
• Touch should be age-appropriate and generally initiated by the child rather than the worker
• Avoid any physical activity which is, or may be thought to be, sexually stimulating to the adult or the child
• Children have the right to decide how much physical contact they have with others, except in exceptional circumstances when they need medical attention
• Team members should monitor one another in the area of physical contact. They should be free to help each other by pointing out anything which could be misunderstood. Concerns about possible abuse should always be reported.

 

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