Research shows that approximately 30% of sex offenders1 entering treatment define themselves as Christians and are actively involved in church life. Some of those are in church leadership whilst others are members of congregations and join in with the life of the church, attending services, prayer meetings, bible study groups and social events. Sex offenders in treatment represent approximately 1% of all sex offenders2, which means the other 99% are living alongside us. By implication there are many sex offenders who are part of our corporate church life and who have not yet been identified as such. It has been estimated that there are 28,0003 sex offenders regularly worshipping in our churches.

How can we identify them? I don't know. I have worked with sex offenders for many years but I still cannot pick one out from the crowd. I have to admit that if a church leader (who are also sex offenders I have worked with) had turned up to preach at my church, I would have been completely taken in by them. Some of them I would have believed to be anointed by God to preach and I am sure their preaching would have convinced me. If I can't tell who is a sex offender, then how could anyone who is not used to working with them?

What happens then, if a man (or woman) makes a public confession of their sin? How does the church respond? One man told me that he did just that in a mainstream church where he was a member. He had been on a spiritual retreat and felt convicted by the Holy Spirit of his sin and confessed it to a small group who encouraged him to confess to his church. By his own account he made an emotional and impassioned confession during public worship, cried a lot, was comforted, prayed with and then carried on as normal. 'Normal' for him was abusing children. It was a further five years before he was arrested and convicted by a criminal court. He was going to church all of that time.

The consequences of the two kinds of conviction are interesting to look at. The conviction of the Holy Spirit led him to make a public confession and I am sure that God forgave him. So far so good. Everything according to God's holy laws. He then carried on with 'normal' life because there was no further intervention.

We are all part of God's church here on earth living stones, part of Christ's body. Our human bodies get into action quickly if sickness invades it. Anti-bodies are sent out to fight the disease and destroy it until the body is brought back to wholeness and health. That is the way God has designed his body on earth to behave but we don't do it.

Church members who are gifted to play this part should have come alongside this man to challenge his behaviour until he was restored to wholeness. Just as sickness takes time to be healed, so behaviour that is out of line with God's takes time to change.

The conviction by a criminal court led to a time of imprisonment with treatment. Then followed release from prison for more treatment in a therapeutic community, and then release back into the community with more treatment. There was a withdrawal from society whilst behaviour was being challenged and new behaviour was learnt, and then a gradual progression of putting that new behaviour into practice whilst at the same time being supported and challenged.

This is the secular way of doing things but it matches up with scripture and is more God's way of doing things than what the church did in the instance of the man who made a public confession. This is an anecdote about one man but this is not an isolated event unfortunately.

So often churches offer ministry, and this consists of the laying on of hands and praying with them/for them. Often this prayer will take the form of deliverance from sin/demonic forces, calling out spirits, breaking the bonds of a habit, or breaking the influence of harmful words which have been spoken into the person's life.These may be useful starting points but will not be enough to break a habit built up over many years. Prayer is not a magic wand. You cannot wave a prayer over someone and 'hey presto' they are cured from habitual or compulsive addictive behaviour.

The secular world has found that cognitive behavioural techniques (changing the way the person views the world, himself and others) have helped sex offenders to control their abusive behaviour. So far no one has found a cure, but sex offenders can learn how to control their behaviour. Many Christians turn their nose up at secular methods of restoration. However, just as secular courts have taken over the work of the church by using Godly principles, so too have secular counselling methods taken over by using principles laid down in the bible.

Crisis is often the opportunity for people to look at their lives and decide that they want to change direction. Many sex offenders meet that crisis when one of their victims tells someone what has happened to them. The prospect of losing their freedom, their home, their family concentrates their mind into thinking that they need to change. Initially it may be for selfish reasons. They may want to limit the damage to themselves. Many an offender will say 'I'll never do it again' when faced with a court appearance. At the time they say it, they may honestly believe that to be true, but unless they learn how to live their lives differently and make different decisions and choices they are not equipped to 'never do it again'.

Motivation to change

Some sex offenders come to the point where they truly want to change their lives and do things differently. They want to turn around and behave in ways that take them away from offending. This could be the start of repentance.

Repent 'feel sorrow or regret for what one has done or left undone; think with regret or contrition' (Oxford dictionary)

Sex offending is compulsive addictive behaviour, which is extremely pleasurable to the perpetrator, and so the thought of never doing it again is a difficult concept for them, at first, to grasp. They may feel sorry for what they have done but the thought of a lifetime of never doing it again may present a bleak prospect. This person will need lots of encouragement to motivate them to want to keep going in their resolve not to do it again.

In order for a man or woman to become a sex offender they will have come to believe a lot of lies they have told to themselves (cognitive distortions). Examples of these are 'it does no harm; it's part of normal growing up to learn about sex; I love children; children want to find out about sex; other countries allow it so it's the law in this country that is wrong; other people do it; it's OK to do it if the child wants to; children lead you on etc…etc…' These distortions need challenging, but before they can be challenged, the person holding these views needs a forum in which to voice them.

The normal activities of a church are unlikely to elicit these views, so the sex offender is able to keep them hidden whilst at the same time joining in with church activities. It would therefore be essential for anyone who comes forward for ministry or makes a commitment to God and talks about any inappropriate sexual behaviour should be encouraged into counselling.

Dealing with Disclosure Boundaries of Confidentiality

What happens when a church leader or counsellor is confronted with someone who talks about sexual behaviour that involves children? At first they may talk about looking at pornography or of sexual thoughts. They will be testing out the counsellor to see if it is safe to talk more, or to see if the counsellor has any understanding. At this point competing theoretical perspectives make a lot of difference. Research shows that psychodynamic counselling (addressing motives and emotions) is likely to increase the risk of re-offending whereas cognitive behavioural methods have been found to be effective in reducing the risk.

There is a further ethical problem which needs to be addressed and that is of disclosure. What happens when/if a counselee discloses their abusive behaviour? They need to know before they make a confession what will happen to this information. If they disclose a criminal offence there is a duty in law to report the crime to the police, otherwise you will become an accessory.

In order to report a crime you need to know who the victim is, so a sex offender could admit to child abuse without disclosing who the victims are. It would then be up to the counsellor to encourage the offender to go to the police and make a full disclosure in order that the victim(s) can receive therapy and children can be protected from further abuse. In addition the leaders of the church should be informed and child protection measures taken, because if there is evidence of one or more offences, this would indicate a current risk to children however long ago the offence was committed.

Many churches now have a child protection policy and counsellors should be made fully aware of this. The value to the offender of making a confession is that they will take responsibility for their illegal sexual behaviour. This is the start of the change process. Potential victims can be protected and past victims can be released from secrecy and shame, and be helped.

Taking responsibility has consequences and those consequences may include the due process of law. Naturally this will deter perpetrators, but it they come forward and give information rather than wait perhaps many years until a victim makes a complaint, they have the opportunity to start a new life.

Anyone taking on counselling sex offenders or their victims need to have specialist training to learn how sex offenders behave; how a cycle of abuse works for offenders; the role of fantasy in offending; the many manipulations sex offenders use in order to keep their behaviour secret, and how they groom their victims and the people who protect them.

At the moment, the only way a sex offender is likely to receive help in this country is through the criminal justice system. Some states in the USA are experimenting with a diversion system whereby a perpetrator is not prosecuted as along as they accept treatment and get a satisfactory report. This treatment is paid for by their medical insurance and they report to a family court who monitors their progress. If the abuse was carried out within a family, then all the members of the family receive treatment if the family is to be reconstituted.

However, this is often not available in the UK. If there was a willingness amongst churches, they could lead the field in setting up a diversion system, just as they led the field in social care in the 19th century.

From the figures we have, it would appear that sex offending is a big problem within churches and if it is allowed to continue could be responsible for emptying them. Jesus said 'Suffer the little children to come to me'. How dreadful that when they do, some are abused. We have a responsibility to protect our children and not keep sweeping the evidence under the carpet. Expecting the quick fix of ministry at the end of a service does not work. Nor does the gospel say 'now you are a new creation in Christ, therefore you do not have any problems'.

What works is exposing wrongdoing to the light and slow painstaking challenging, whilst at the same time building up self-esteem and replacing pleasurable illegal behaviour with pleasurable legal behaviour. Jesus said to his disciples 'things that make people fall into sin are bound to happen, but how terrible for the one who makes them happen. It would be better for him if a large millstone were tied round his neck and he were thrown into the sea than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch what you do' (Luke 17v1).

He goes on to say 'If your brother sins rebuke him. If he repents forgive him'. Let us not forget that repentance for a crime leads to the consequences and processes of law, and repentance means sorrow for what has been done. Part of forgiveness is restoration, which must include learning new behaviour to replace the old faulty behaviour.

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