‘It's OK for you! Your dad didn't run away and leave you when you were a baby. Nobody loves me. I haven't got one friend.' Seven-year old Jack was cross because I was insisting that it was bedtime. Tired and tearful, he was not about to give in without a struggle. Jack lives with us and we have parental responsibility along with his mum.

The 'nobody loves me bit' and 'not one friend' I had heard before. Confident and sociable, usually surrounded by a crowd, Jack is certainly not friendless. Nor is he unloved. However the 'dad' bit was new.

Tucking him up into bed I asked him what he'd meant. 'Well, my dad ran off and left me and my mum when I was a baby.' 'Who told you that, Jack?' 'Nobody', he said, I just know.' I gently told Jack the simple facts and he was so relieved to hear the truth. To not 'have' a dad was one thing but to be abandoned and therefore rejected, was quite another.

Parents are so important in shaping our lives, aren't they? Within the last few weeks I have listened to some sad stories as wounded adults have struggled to gain understanding or closure on their past. The majority of those stories have revolved around a missing, or emotionally absent father, alongside fathers who were very involved but failed to give unconditional love and acceptance. Rejection is a deep wound to live with whether it is inflicted willingly or not.

Perhaps it is fitting that I should be writing about fathers in this, my last planned article for Caring, because the first - published way back in 1980s - was entitled From Fostering to Fathering. It told the story of how my husband Ray started on his long and adventurous journey of 'fathering' with the coming of our then fostered sons Robert and Kevin in 1976. Gary and Paula, our birth children, were eight and six and we had fostered for four years already, but Ray had not really been involved emotionally. But now, goodness knows how many fostered, adopted, and all sorts of other permutations of children (and adults) later, it is part of his personality. A granddad seven times over, Ray would say fathering has probably been the major part of his life and possibly the most rewarding.

Jack usually wants 'Nanna' to tuck him up at bedtime, read a story and say prayers but the other night he asked for 'Granddad'. Jack is growing up into a very pleasant young man and wanted to make sure I did not feel rejected, 'It's just that Granddad bounces me up and down before he tucks me in'.

The peals of merriment floating down the stairs reminded me of a quote in Rob Parsons' book The Sixty Minute Father. Under the goal: to laugh more with my children, it reads like this:

When I'm gone and my children talk about me, I would love them to say that I taught them great things, to look at the world with large eyes, to reach their potential and to care for those who are weak. But I would wonder if I had missed it if they didn't add, 'BUT WHAT WE REMEMBER TOO IS THAT HE WAS FUN TO BE WITH'.

I expect we have all heard the saying: 'Laughter is the best medicine.' Proverbs 17 tells us: 'A joyful heart is good medicine,' so it should come as no surprise to Christians that there is strong evidence laughter can actually improve health and help fight disease. According to the Internet, researchers are now saying laughter can bring balance to all the components of the immune system.

Laughter provides a safety valve that shuts off the flow of stress hormones and the fight-or-flight compounds that swing into action in our bodies when we experience stress, anger or hostility. These stress hormones suppress the immune system, increase the number of blood platelets (which can cause obstructions in arteries) and raise blood pressure. When we're laughing, natural killer cells that destroy tumours and viruses increase, as do Gamma-interferon (a disease-fighting protein), T-cells, which are a major part of the immune response, and B-cells, which make disease-destroying antibodies.

Laughter may lead to hiccupping and coughing, which clears the respiratory tract by dislodging mucous plugs. Laughter also increases the concentration of salivary immunoglobulin A, which defends against infectious organisms entering through the respiratory tract.

What may surprise you even more is the fact that researchers estimate that laughing 100 times is equal to 10 minutes on the rowing machine or 15 minutes on an exercise bike. Laughing can be a total body workout! Blood pressure is lowered, and there is an increase in vascular blood flow and in oxygenation of the blood, which further assists healing. Laughter also gives your diaphragm and abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg and back muscles a workout. That's why you often feel exhausted after a long bout of laughter - you've just had an aerobic workout!

It seems that people often store negative emotions, such as anger, sadness and fear, rather than expressing them. Laughter provides a way for these emotions to be harmlessly released. Laughter is cathartic.

I think Jack who has a very healthy immune system - has found a great way to stay happily healthy and so long as his adopted Nanna and Granddad keep on laughing along with him, they should enjoy the same benefits!

Statistically adults laugh 17 times per day on average. I intend to raise the laughter level in our house - how about you?

Maddy is an experienced foster carer with her husband Ray and has been a regular contributor to Caring magazine.

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