These can be divided into three parts: physical, emotional, and spiritual.

The effects will vary from one person to another. What you may regard as something very minor, may have a profound effect on the abused person. That is because everybody is different, each will have had different life-experiences, different kinds of families. Some people may display many symptoms of the effects of abuse. Others will be wearing a "mask" – they seem ok but inside themselves, they are very unhappy.

Physical Effects

Physical abuse will usually leave marks on the body such as bruises and burns. Babies may suffer brain damage from being shaken or have bone fractures or internal injury from being thrown, kicked or hit.

Sexual abuse may also cause damage to the genital area, or internal reproductive organs which can be serious problems for adults. Sexual abuse can also be responsible for sexually-transmitted diseases and bladder infections. Women may be unable to have babies because of the damage/infection.

Adults can have difficulty in sexual relationships – they may be afraid of violent assaults, may experience pain, or find love-making very unsatisfactory because of memories flooding back of past abuse.

Some adults may hate their bodies so much that they try to commit suicide or inflict harm on themselves – cutting, burning, eating disorders, drug/alcohol/solvent abuse, prostitution and a promiscuous life-style.

A number of abused children, young people and adults may go on to abuse others in turn.

Emotional

When a person has been abused it will have an effect on their emotional life and thinking because abuse hurts every part of our being.

They may suffer confusion, not understanding what has happened or why it happened. Young people often cannot concentrate on school work or studying because of what has happened to them. They feel isolated and different from everyone else. They may wonder who they are because the abuser has not allowed them to make choices in the past. They can lack confidence in themselves and fear to trust others – "will they let me down?"

The abused person may think they are very wicked – "I shouldn't have let it happen. I'm dirty. I'm rubbish. I shouldn't have enjoyed the sexual feelings. It's my fault". People don't understand that as children they are not responsible for what adults or older children have done to them. They should not blame themselves for having "nice" feelings. All that those feelings prove is that their body is working properly!

People who have been abused may find it hard to say ‘no' to others who make unreasonable demands of them, or who seek to abuse them again. They may find it hard to make lasting relationships, suffer recurring "flashbacks" (sudden glimpses of past abuse). They may be anxious or depressed.

Anger at self or others for letting it happen can be a real problem for Christians, who may feel they shouldn't be angry

Spiritual Effects

Abuse can have a crushing effect on the spirit. That is why God is so angry when He sees what is done to His "little ones". The abused person can feel unable to trust God as a loving father because people in places of authority – parents, policemen, priests, ministers – have frightened them, ignored their cries for help; made them feel "dirty" or sinful; have abused them.

People who have been abused may relate better to Jesus as God's son or The Good Shepherd. They may fear the power of the Holy Spirit – being prayed for may be very frightening because they will not be "in control". They may fear being touched when being prayed for so be sensitive to their feelings.

They may feel they are "too bad" for God to want to have anything to do with them when the truth is that God loves each one of us so much that He sent Jesus to die for us.!

HELPING THE ABUSED PERSON

Each of us is a person for whom Christ died. We are chosen, valued, respected and loved by God. In ministering to the abused person, we must keep those values in mind.

The most important thing we can do, initially, is to listen to what the person has to say. We may find it hard to believe, we may be shocked or disgusted. We may feel a sense of panic – "What am I going to do now?" However, don't let those feelings show or you may stop the person from telling you. You might want to ask someone to pray with you later if what you have heard is affecting your spirit.

Try not to ask questions because people will often not want to answer them. Also you may put things into their mind that were not there e.g. "Did he do this?" Other unhelpful questions are "Why didn't you say no?" (They may have tried to or been so frightened that they could not), and "Why didn't you tell anyone?" (The same reasons may apply).

Do encourage them to believe that things can change – however hopeless things seem at present, God can do miracles in their life.

Pray with them for God to bring peace, healing and justice into their situation.

Act! You may need to take action to ensure that children are protected from further harm. You may need to contact the authorities about crimes that have been committed.

Don't expect the abused person to forgive what has been done to them right now. God wants us to forgive those who offend against us. He also wants those who offend to seek forgiveness to accept responsibility for what has happened. When that happens those who have been abused can forgive more easily – but it does take time! They may realise only a little at a time, just what damage has been done to them. They may forgive a little at a time.

Don't ever promise to keep what has been told you secret because you may not be able to keep your promise if action needs to be taken. You shouldn't tell ‘everyone' – only those who need to know and that does not include the abuser.

If you need to seek further help for the abused person, don't be afraid to refer them on. We don't have all the answers for everyone!

Keep praying for them!

 

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